Two of my favorite scriptures that I love praying for people and sharing on birthday cards are:
Psalm 20:4, “May he grant your heart’s desires and make all your plans succeed.”
And Psalm 21:2, “For you have given him his heart’s desire; you have withheld nothing he requested.”
After five years of acupuncture treatments, compounded hormones and high-dose vitamins, umpteenth cycles of fertility medications, multiple ultrasounds during every cycle, one Polycystic Ovary Syndrome diagnosis, one surgery for endometriosis and countless other issues, no baby. Nothing. Not even one positive pregnancy test. How could this be “the fulfillment of all my plans and my heart’s desire?”
I believed in God’s Word and His Truth, and that He would never fail to fulfill His promises. So if children were the desire of my heart and He grants our heart’s desires, then something had to give and I knew it had to be me.
So in the beginning of 2013, I cried out to God to make the desire for children go away. If it was not His heart’s desire for me, I begged Him to take it away. And that was my prayer.
There were two scriptures I was previously praying. One was Luke 2:40, “that my children will grow and become strong and be filled with God’s wisdom.” I prayed that verse even before I met my husband. Well, I stopped praying it. When we started trying to conceive in 2009, I stood on Psalm 113:9, “I am a joyful mother of children…” Stopped praying that verse as well.
While we were trying to conceive, I had taken a hiatus from endurance running. I decided to start up again since I felt that we were not going to have children; and began training for the Marine Corp marathon. Once I started training, I became very fatigued and was having difficulty recovering, which was not normal. I thought maybe my iron levels were low, but my husband suggested I take a pregnancy test (which made me furious)! I definitely didn’t think I was pregnant, especially since I had never become pregnant through all the fertility treatments.
Well, when my strong willed husband brought me a home pregnancy test, I didn’t want to take it… and didn’t believe it when it read positive with two lines. I had him go back to the store to buy a digital test—one that would be clearer and just read yes or no. It also came out positive! When I went to see the obstetrician, I was 11 weeks pregnant! We had a full-term pregnancy at 42 weeks, and I even ran in a small Veterans Day run four days before my daughter’s birth.
I am now a mom, but not just any mom. A couple of years ago, I was handed an invitation to the Moms in Prayer school year kickoff for my area. Not sure what to expect, I nervously went and I’m eternally grateful for that invite. I had the opportunity to pray with other ladies at my table using a partially-filled prayer sheet, and I knew this was for me. On that September morning I was given the Moms in Prayer Booklet which later led to becoming a leader for Moms of Little Ones (preschoolers). I am now a “Mom in Prayer” who truly believes and knows firsthand that God answers the desires of our HEARTS!
Brandi Chase is a homegrown Texan who began a personal relationship with Jesus Christ in 2003. She struggled with infertility and has a heart for future mommas. She and her husband, Darren, raise their family in Katy, Texas. She is also author of Was Called Barren, a devotional for women going through infertility.