By Hanaleigh Hazel, age 23
(A Product of Moms in Prayer)
I was born into a Christian family and raised with good Christian morals. When I was ten years old, I accepted Jesus into my heart and was baptized. I attended a private Christian school until the 9th grade. Even though I knew Jesus, I was just going through the motions. When I was 17 years old, I got mixed up with the wrong crowd and started running from God. I was fascinated by the crowd’s dark clothes, piercings, chains, spikes, and studs. I moved out of my loving parents’ home and moved in with the guy I was dating at the time. He was very verbally and emotionally abusive to me.
There were many more after him who became physically and sexually abusive as well. At 18 years of age, I started smoking marijuana. I lived with several drug dealers, so my usage of the drug soon escalated to every day. I started burning Bibles and smoking marijuana out of the Bible paper. I wanted nothing to do with God. Somewhere around the age of 19, prescription pills crept into my life. A year later at the young age of 20, I started injecting methamphetamine into my veins daily. I saw many things humans were not intended to see and did things humans were not intended to do.
Following the extreme addiction of the needle, I soon lost everything I had to drugs. My car, my clothes, my friends, even my I.D. and birth certificate were taken from me by people I thought were my friends. I started selling drugs and living promiscuously with several meth dealers. Soon afterwards, many of my dealers got busted. I was so tired of my life of drugs, sex, and crime, but I could not quit. I felt like there was no way out!
May 22nd of 2013, I was going to commit suicide. I had with me a lethal dose of methamphetamine in a syringe. As I walked into the room to end my life, I tripped, dropping the syringe, and falling on my knees. I was so weak from not eating or sleeping for forty some odd days that I could not get up. I believe now it was an angel of the Lord holding me down. As I was on my knees, I remembered as a little girl seeing my mom lying down prone, flat, face on the floor, crying out to God in prayer. I thought to myself, “I’ve tried everything else, maybe I can try God.” I laid down, face to the ground, and really prayed for the first time in five years!
I prayed, “God, if You are there, please kill me…or do something.” I went to bed that night giving Him time to work. The next morning, I called my parents and asked them to come and get me. I wanted to come home. My parents were leaving on a road trip to Yellowstone National Park, and I went with them. I knew this was from God to get me away from the drugs and the dealers.
Me and mom
I had a wonderful time just letting Jesus shower me with His grace and love! On our way back from the road trip, I knew I wasn’t ready to go back home. My grandmother mentioned a drug rehabilitation facility in Bowling Green, Kentucky named The Bridge To Recovery. They had an opening on the day we were going to be going through Kentucky on our way back home! My family took me there. I stayed for two months and learned a lot!
Now that I am home, I am better than ever! I attend church, Narcotics Anonymous meetings, and Celebrate Recovery meetings. On November 22, 2013, I celebrated six months clean! Several months later, I was re-baptized! I wear a Jesus ring on my ring finger, because Jesus is my fiancé now! Now Jesus is real to me!
So, moms everywhere, don’t quit praying! My mom and her three other Moms in Prayer women – Sudie, Grace, and Judy – are the “angels” who prayed me out of Hell!
Below is the poem I wrote during my trip to Yellowstone National Park:
I looked all around, and what did I see?
A whole lot of bloodshed coming from people different than me.
These people were hurt, having never been shown love,
And I was just as white and pure as a dove.
I thought I could help them, so I sacrificed me.
I became a dog like them, and acquired their fleas.
They took and they took, leaving me dry and barren.
I had nothing left, and none of them were carin’.
After everything was gone, they continued to proceed,
Leaving me helpless with not even the things that I need.
I took a second look around, and what did I see?
All the bloodshed I thought was theirs, had been coming from me!
I was broken, all my blood was gone, I was dry,
So I looked up to heaven, hit my knees, and began to cry.
“I have nothing to offer You, they took all my fruit.
Everything You have given me, they took for their loot.
They took everything I owned, every single last token.
I have nothing to live for, I am totally broken.”
Then He looked down on me, and said, “My girl, you’re not dead.
For it is Mine, not yours, all you saw of that bloodshed.
Raise your head, My dear daughter, and do what is right.
And I will love and protect you with all of My Might.
Get away from those vultures, for you, I will restore.
You have come to Me humble, broken, and sore.
They will get what they deserve in a matter of time,
Because now, My love, you are finally Mine!”
Please leave Hanaleigh an encouraging prayer or comment!