Mother's prayer for loss of child

In Christ Alone: Hope to Carry On

I grew up on a farm in Texas in a Christian household. My parents were very active in church and we became involved by attending youth groups and later teaching Sunday School. I met my husband in college and in 1991, we moved to France where our two sons were born.

In 2004 we moved to Raleigh, North Carolina where my new neighbor asked me to join a Moms in Prayer group to pray for the elementary school. I was mortified about praying out loud. Slowly, God gave me courage and words to pray for our children and their schools. I continued in Moms in Prayer (MIP) for my kids all through grade school up to college and when they started their careers.

When my husband got a new job in Santa Fe, New Mexico, we moved there in March of 2020. Our son, Adam, had just graduated high school and started a landscaping job in Raleigh. Our other son, Ben, was a sophomore in college living in the dorms. A week after we moved, the pandemic shut everything down. I continued praying with my Moms in Prayer group from Raleigh via zoom and eventually connected with a group in Santa Fe. I quickly formed strong bonds with the Santa Fe group. My friends prayed and helped me through difficult times, especially when my husband lost his job due to the pandemic.

Praying for a friend who lost a child

Lanette with her son Ben

On October 17, 2021, a phone call from my husband changed our lives forever. He told me that Ben, our 21-year-old son, had been hit by a car while crossing a road behind his duplex and was in surgery for a head injury. Ben had gone out with friends, lost contact with them, then the battery on his phone ran out so he decided to walk home. Thankfully the driver stopped to call 911. EMTs were quick to arrive and put him on life support.

I was devastated when I heard of Ben’s accident and reached out to my Santa Fe and Raleigh MIP groups and asked for prayer. Not only did they lift Ben and our family up in prayer, they drove us to the airport, took care of our dog, and bought food and toiletries we forgot to pack, among other things. They prayed for me when I could not find the words to pray for a few months.

They prayed for me when I could not find the words to pray for a few months.

As we prepared for Ben’s funeral, the pastor found Ben’s confirmation essay he wrote at age 12. “Jesus is the only person in the universe who went from living a perfect life to dying a horrible death on a cross to forgive us of all our sins. My favorite bible verse is Philippians 4:13 which says, ‘I can do anything through Him who gives me strength.’ This goes along with how Jesus helps me live and get through the daily challenges and that once in a lifetime accident. It also means that I can do the task at hand with confidence because of Jesus.” As I read these words, I felt they were meant for me in that moment assuring me that God would help me through this hardship.

At the funeral service, “In Christ Alone” was sung. The pastor mentioned it was the theme for the national youth gathering Ben attended in 2016 and said, “Ben wasn’t alone that night he walked home. His Lord, his Savior was right there with him as He had always been. Because of the gift of faith Ben had been given, he really could do all things through Christ who strengthened him, even face the experience of earthly death itself. That’s ultimately what it means to be ‘in Christ.’ And this promise that Ben is safe and secure, away from sin and death, gives you the hope to carry on.”

October 18th is Ben’s official day of passing but also the day we honored Ben’s wishes to become an organ donor. Ben saved five people’s lives with six organs.

Our family wrote a letter to the recipients about Ben. We included the confirmation essay in which he also wrote, “The way I want to serve Him is by doing more service projects such as brown bag ministry…” When the sister-in-law of the lung recipient read this, she honored Ben by creating Ben’s Brown Bag ministry. They provide simple bag meals to those in need, as well as hope, encouragement, and joy through human connection.

How to honor the loss of a son

The families of the recipients had also been praying to God to save the lives of their family members. Ben was the answer. Knowing Ben helped save five people’s lives and continues to help others through the ministry, gives me comfort and joy.

I can see God’s hand in so many areas of my life. When I returned to the Santa Fe Moms in Prayer group, I said, “Although I miss Ben immensely, I still have peace.” Martha, a group member, said, “That’s the peace that passes all understanding from Philippians 4:7, “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray for all moms who are grieving their children whether they have passed or are prodigals. I pray that You will give them peace and comfort knowing they are not alone. You are walking beside them in their heartaches and I pray they will find joy in You. I pray for the moms, aunts, and grandmas who are searching for answers and healing, will find Moms in Prayer groups to pray with and for them. In Jesus’ name, amen.

How has God comforted you through prayer? Comment below.
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Praying mothers group.Lanette DeRose lives in St Louis, Missouri and has been involved in Moms in Prayer for 20 years. Ben’s Brown Bag Ministry was started by Jayne Madigan to honor Lanette’s son Ben, for saving her brother in law’s life with the gift of a double lung transplant.

Comments 2

  1. This is beautiful. Where would we be without our Lord and Savior and his eternal omnipresence with our children? ‘Grateful for Moms In Prayer providing the opportunity for weekly one on one prayer with other moms.

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