Teaching our kids, and ourselves, to take every thought captive to Christ
“They aren’t going to make the kids do it tonight, right?” I anxiously asked my neighbor as I unfolded my chair. She let out a nervous laugh and replied, “I think they are!”
This fall, our son started kid pitch baseball. As we sat down for his first game of the season, I couldn’t believe that kids with little to no experience would be pitching the entire game. I overheard the coach ask my son if he wanted to pitch. To my relief, he replied, “Nah, I’m good.” But at the top of the third inning, my heart skipped a beat as I watched my son run to the pitcher’s mound.
Thoughts began racing through my mind. But Darryl (my husband) never taught him how to pitch. Does he even know what he’s doing? Oh man, I’m so nervous for him! Naturally, the pitching started out a little rocky, but as the inning progressed, I stood amazed. My son actually threw the ball over home plate and had fun doing it.
As I tucked him into bed that night, I asked him what thoughts ran through his mind as he stepped onto the pitcher’s mound. He admitted he wasn’t 100% sure what to do at first, but he told himself: You got this. You can do it. His positive self-talk paid off, and while he walked a few kids that night, his first time pitching was a success!
What we say to ourselves matters. When we face a challenging, new, or unfamiliar situation, the thoughts running through our heads impact how we feel and respond. Whether or not we realize it, our internal dialogue affects the quality of our lives. Researchers found that when people focus on negative words and thoughts, it disrupts their sleep, appetite, happiness, longevity, and health[1]. Our thoughts have power.
When we face a challenging, new, or unfamiliar situation, the thoughts running through our heads impact how we feel and respond.
God knew this when he wrote in 2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
As mothers, we must learn how to take our thoughts captive if we want to parent with peace and confidence. And if we want our children to walk bravely into the world and face challenges head-on, we must also teach them how to harness the power of the mind.
How do we teach kids to hold every thought captive?
1. The first step to capturing a thought is understanding that we have thoughts constantly running through our heads! Whether we realize it or not, our inner dialogue never ends. We continuously make quick judgments throughout the day and either encourage or discourage ourselves with our self-talk.
A healthy mind knows what’s running through it. You can’t take a thought captive if you don’t know what it is! If you want to teach your child to hold every thought captive, you must teach them to be still and listen.
We live in a fast-paced world, and with modern technology, our kids constantly receive external stimulation. There is so much noise in our world. The extra stimuli distract our children from being still with their thoughts and understanding how they impact their lives.
To build your child’s thought-life awareness, ask them these three questions:
- When you face a challenge, what’s the first thing you think?
- Are the words you say to yourself in your head primarily negative or positive?
- What are you thinking right now?
2. The second step is analyzing your thought life. If you notice your child’s self-talk is primarily negative, you can improve it by verbalizing yours. Many pediatricians encourage parents to talk about what they’re doing throughout the day because it’s great for language development. The same is true for a child’s emotional development. When you share your struggles and how you encouraged yourself in a difficult situation, you boost your child’s emotional intelligence.
You can share how you overcame something hard at the dinner table or in the middle of the situation. I often model self-talk by saying something like, “I’m feeling flustered. I have so much to do! Breathe, Lauren. It’ll be okay. Just take one step at a time. With a little bit of work, you can get everything done.”
Kids benefit from hearing our problem-solving strategies and expression of feelings. As you know, children are always listening, so modeling positive self-talk is a great way to influence their emotional awareness indirectly.
3. The last step is bringing the thought to the obedience of Christ. We often focus on the capturing and miss that last part of 2 Corinthians 10:5.
The problem is when we try to talk ourselves out of a bad thought, we often can’t. The more we try to stop thinking about it, the more we think it. The first step is identifying the thought, but we can’t stop there. We must lean on Jesus to help us overcome the negative thoughts and grab hold of the life-giving ones.
As parents, we can teach our children to bring their minds and hearts to Jesus. They can trust God with their fears and feelings. And they can learn to submit their minds to Christ in order to truly change how they think. That means taking the thought to Jesus in prayer.
For example, “God, I’m feeling nervous about XYZ, but I know Your Word says You did not give me a spirit of fear, but a sound mind from 2 Timothy 1:7. God help me to grab hold of my sound mind.”
With practice, our kids can learn to detect the lies of the enemy and counteract them with the truth of God’s Word. Our kids don’t have to walk around with unhelpful thoughts running through their heads at all hours of the day. They can refuse to give in to their fearful thoughts and instead walk bravely into the world with soundness of mind.
PRAY WITH ME
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for your unending love. Thank you for choosing us and loving us beyond our comprehension. God, the world often feels scary and dark, but we know you are trustworthy and true. And that means You put our children in this world for such a time as this. Lord, as we go about our day, help us to hold every thought captive. God, if our children have any thoughts that are not true or helpful, we ask you to transform them. May our children meditate on the lovely, pure, and excellent things. Thank you for giving our children soundness of mind. In Jesus’ Name, we pray, Amen.
[1] Andrew B. Newberg and Mark Robert Waldman, Words Can Change Your Brain: 12 Conversation Strategies to Build Trust, Resolve Conflict, and Increase Intimacy (New York: Penguin, 2012), 24
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Lauren Gaines is a wife, mother, author, and teacher. She is the creator of Inspired Motherhood, a thriving online community equipping parents to raise up the next generation with boldness. Lauren has a unique take on parenting, as she’s a busy mom of three children and holds a master’s degree in school psychology. Her newest book Unshakable Kids: Three Keys to Raising Spiritually Strong and Emotionally Healthy Children, equips parents to raise strong kids even in a broken world. Follow Lauren on Instagram @inspired.motherhood and find free family prayer guides at inspired-motherhood.com.