No Perfect Mom But a Loving God Who Heals

There was a time when I dreaded Mother’s Day. Every year I went to the store to get a card for my mother. After reading several options I often wondered, who really has a mother like this? I had a complicated relationship with my mother and no card could describe it. The experience reminded me of what I was missing and longing for and how everyone else had the “perfect mom.”

When I got older, I had an on-and-off relationship with my mother. My grandfather would often say to me, “You need to reconcile with your mother.” I was confused by what that meant and thought to myself, “When she apologizes and changes, then I will reconcile with her.” She was the one in the wrong, not me– was my way of thinking.

My mother had six children and our home was full of abuse, chaos, confusion, lies, and many unpredictable situations. You never really knew what to expect on any given day. This damaged our relationship and I blamed her for not protecting me as a child. I pulled away from my mother because I thought that was the only way I was going to find healing. My first counselor (I don’t believe she was a Christian) told me to stop my relationship with my mother, give up all hope of her ever changing, and to move on with my life, without my parents, brothers, or sisters.

I pulled away from my mother because I thought that was the only way I was going to find healing.

God had different plans and, as we know, God’s thinking and ways are highly different from ours and the world’s. While I was attending a Christian seminar, the speaker reminded us to apologize to our parents if we were holding anything against them. I was stubborn back then and didn’t want to hear this, but God kept impressing upon me to apologize to my mother. After two days, I finally broke down and for the first time at age 35, I wanted to call my mother and connect with her. I called her and apologized. Then she apologized and we wiped the slate clean. God gave us a new beginning!

I now see things so differently and feel like a weight of guilt, that I was carrying with me for so long, was finally removed by God. I now see my mother differently and I have love, compassion, and joy for our relationship, which I never thought was possible. I imagined that one day my mother and I would have some kind of relationship, but what God planned was so much more. I am very grateful for His intervention and for restoring our relationship.

I imagined that one day my mother and I would have some kind of relationship, but what God planned was so much more.

I now have two children of my own and I am grateful for their relationship with my mother as well. When my children were little, God encouraged me to have compassion and understand that I was not the perfect mom and one day, I may need my children to forgive me. He taught me that I need to love others the way that He loves me and forgive others the way that I have been forgiven. Also, that this would be an example to my children.

Now I am extremely thankful for moms to pray with in my Moms in Prayer group. God has shown me that no one is a “perfect mom.” Being a mom is tough and stressful and we all need prayer, and so do our children.

Being a mom is tough and stressful and we all need prayer, and so do our children.

I believe that praying with other moms every Wednesday night has brought me through many storms. I focus on who God is and His character and not the circumstances. After praying, I get a sense of peace and can refocus on the direction God has for my life and the lives of my children. Instead of confusion, God gives me clarity and guidance. My life from a small child to now, a full-grown adult, has always been full of suffering and trials, but I see God’s victory through every situation and I see how God has never changed and He never will.

These Bible verses are special to me and have helped me through many trials. I pray that you will be greatly encouraged by God’s Word as well (all scripture references are ESV):

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:13-14

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. John 16:33

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 1 Peter 2:9

Pray With Me

Lord, we thank you that You are a God of reconciliation. When we don’t see a way, You always have a way. Please soften our hearts, especially in complicated relationships with mothers and their children, so that we will want to connect and reconcile. May the result be love, joy, and peace that passes all understanding. Give us Your heart Lord. Let us see what You see. Thank you for always loving and forgiving us. Guide us so that we can love and forgive others in the same way. Amen.

Happy Mother’s Day!
How has God blessed you as a mother? Comment below.

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Jenn M. Rapp currently lives in Limerick, PA with her husband Mike of 20 years and her two children Isabella (19) and Michael (18). She became a Christian when she attended college at Eastern University in St. Davids, PA. Jenn is passionate about mentoring other women and leading Moms in Prayer every week at her church in Spring City for over three years now. She really enjoys how God’s spirit in our lives changes the direction of our journeys and she has seen God move in her life and other’s in powerful ways. Jenn has worked in the finance industry her entire career, managing banks and now working with financial advisors. She believes that God has given her gifts to educate and guide others in their financial journeys.