Prayer is a tool that is made mostly of words, but it’s no less a tool than one made of steel. —Eugene Peterson
As a parent, especially when our children are young, we expect to basically know what they are doing, who they are with, and even what they are eating.
Divorce changes all of this.
We often send our child off without much knowledge of what occurs in the other home. We don’t get to choose who our child is spending time with or even who is babysitting them.
Having less control means giving God control, but it does not mean we remain inactive.
We may feel powerless, but we have a weapon that is sharper than any two edged sword, God’s Word, and we can pray God’s Word over our children, wrapping them in a blanket of prayer.
After finding myself a divorced, single mom with two sons under the age of four, I was fortunate enough to come across the book Every Child Needs a Praying Mom by Fern Nichols. It changed the way I prayed for my children.
This was almost 20 years ago and now standing on the other side of parenting with two grown adult sons, I can attest to God’s faithfulness and the fruitfulness of so many of those prayers.
When we pray, we are touching heaven, changing earth. —Fern Nichols, Moms in Prayer Founder
When we pray, we are touching heaven, changing earth. —Fern Nichols, Moms in Prayer Founder
Dear single mom, are you ready to touch heaven and change earth?
God as your partner
As a single mom, I didn’t have a spouse to share concerns with, but God became more real than ever as I placed my small children in His care.
In the following section, I will share with you the scripture prayers I prayed for my sons often, inserting their names right in the passages. This will get you started, but your children will have their own unique needs.
I encourage you to write out your prayers as you hand your children over to the One who loves them more than we can imagine. I have a spiral notebook with each family member’s name on a sticky note, not fancy at all! After their name, I leave many pages that I fill with scripture prayers for them.
You are not powerless because you serve a powerful God, so start praying!
You are not powerless because you serve a powerful God, so start praying!
Prayers for your son or daughter
2 Thessalonians 2:16-3:5 NIV was one of the first passages I latched onto, inserting my sons’ names. (“/her” has been added so that if you have a daughter, you can insert her name into these scripture prayers).
Lord Jesus, may You Yourself and God our Father who loved _____and by Your grace gave _____ eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage his/her heart and strengthen him/her in every good deed and word.
Lord, may he/she be delivered from wicked and evil men for not everyone has faith.
But, God, You are faithful. Strengthen and protect _____from the evil one.
May _____ continue to do the things he/she has learned from Your Word.
May You, Lord, direct _____’s heart into Your love and Christ’s perseverance.
Notice the verses mention strengthening, protecting, and growing spiritually. In the case of praying for my children, God put it on my heart to pray they were strengthened inwardly (soul and spirit), to pray they were protected outwardly, and to pray for spiritual growth in their lives. Let’s explore these three topics.
Pray for your child’s inner strength
Here are some of the inner strength verses I prayed for my sons. I prayed my sons would have a spirit like Caleb. Numbers 14:24 NIV says, “But because my servant Caleb has a different spirit and follows me wholeheartedly, I will bring him into the land he went to, and his descendants will inherit it.”
When the rest of the world is saying “yes” more than ever now, our children need to be able to stand up and not fear being different, even going against the majority as Caleb did.
In that line of thought, I prayed these two verses as well:
For the Spirit God gave _____ does not make him/her timid, but gives him/her power, love and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7 NIV
May _____ not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of his/her mind, so that _____ may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2 NASB
I prayed the following verses for their minds not only to be renewed, but protected and governed by the spirit.
May _____’s mind not be governed by the flesh which is death, but have a mind governed by the Spirit which is life and peace. Romans 8:6 NIV
May _____ not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present his/her requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard _____’s heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 NIV
Pray for your child’s outward protection
There is a verse in the Bible that specifically applies to children of divorce who go between two homes. Of course, this may have not been the psalmist’s intention!
Psalm 121:5-8 NIV is a great prayer of protection and the ending to me seemed so applicable to my children who were forever “coming and going” between two homes.
LORD, I ask that You will watch over _____ and be the shade at his/her right hand so the sun will not harm _____ by day, nor the moon by night.
LORD, will you keep _____ from all harm and watch over his/her life; watch over his/her coming and going both now and forevermore.
Did you know we don’t have to be helicopter parents because God is a helicopter God! The God who hovered over the earth and brought all things into creation is the same God who will hover over our children.
The meaning of “hover” is to remain or linger in or near a place. Our God is hovering over our children. He is near them and remains with them when we cannot be.
For the LORD’s portion is His people; Jacob is the allotment of His inheritance. He found him in a desert land, And in the howling wasteland of a wilderness; He encircled him, He cared for him, He guarded him as the apple of His eye. As an eagle stirs up its nest, And hovers over its young, He spread His wings, He caught them, He carried them on His pinions. Deuteronomy 32:9-11 NASB
Pray for your child’s spiritual growth
At nighttime, I would pray over my boys that God would help them grow healthy in their body, mind, and spirit. I would pray that they would grow like Jesus did, “And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.” Luke 2:52 NIV
I also prayed that anytime they needed encouragement or conviction, they would remember God’s Word.
But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My Name, He will teach you all things, and remind you of all that I said to you. John 14:26 NASB
And that God’s Word would do a work in their lives:
“So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything but God who causes the growth.” 1 Corinthians 3:7 NASB
Our prayers are not guaranteed immediate answers, and we have to keep in mind that our children will be adults who need to make their own decisions for Christ one day.
Most of us may not leave our children a huge monetary inheritance, but we can leave them an inheritance that is everlasting, a legacy of prayers we have prayed over them.
Pray with me
Dear God, We acknowledge that you are a God that is Omnipresent, always with us and always with our precious children. Please forgive us for times that we doubt and for times that it seems difficult to trust You. We know that you are working all things together for our good because we love You (Romans 8:28). When our prayers are not answered immediately, remind us that You hear every prayer and once a prayer is prayed, it remains before You. Thank you for Your constant love and companionship. Protect our hearts and the hearts of our children. We pray all this in Jesus’ name, amen.
Later in life, God gifted my now husband and me with a beautiful girl through foster adoption. You can download and print the prayers I wrote for daughters.
Happy Mother’s Day!
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Aimee Claire Cooks has a heart for single parents and children being raised in divorced and single-parent homes. Her book titled, Take God’s Hand: Hope and Help for Rebuilding your Family after Divorce encourages parents to ground themselves in the gospel so that they can lead their families well. Aimee blogs at aimeecooks.com to encourage single parents in their journey. Aimee has been a married mom, single mom, remarried mom, step-mom, foster mom, adoptive mom, working mom, and most recently, a stay at home, homeschool mom. She has been married to Ryan for 11 years and they have a beautiful, blended family. Educationally and professionally, Aimee has a bachelor’s degree in Early Childhood – Special and Regular Education. She taught for 24 years before leaving that career to homeschool her adopted daughter. Her life is an intricate tapestry still being worked on by the master weaver. She calls it her “beautiful God-planned life.”