When You Can’t Fix It: Trusting God With Your Child’s Mental Health

A Mother & Daughter Story of God’s Faithfulness

Deborah’s story

Every mom knows the ache of watching her child walk through something you cannot fix. My daughter’s testimony brings to mind times when I have had no strength of my own, only the assurance that God hears the cries of a praying mother.

At an early age, Alexandra became a follower of Jesus and grew into a beautiful, bright, compassionate, joyful young woman who pursued every dream with determination.

One day, she bravely shared with me her experiences that sounded like trauma responses. During her childhood she underwent surgeries, battled allergies and asthma, overcame the challenges of a long distance move just prior to eighth grade, and much more. Yet, anxiety quietly wove its way into her daily life to hijack her sleep, sabotage her hope, and disrupt her life in ways that breaks this mama’s heart.

I have wanted so badly to step in and fix it—to take the pain for her. But this is not something I can repair. Instead, God has called me to something I can do: pray.

At first, I wrestled. I cried out to the Lord, disappointed about why He would allow more pain in her life. I had prayed for years that He would equip her for His service. I suppose part of me imagined a sudden download of strength or wisdom—a miraculous shortcut to spiritual maturity. But God, in His all-wise love, is forming her through the mountains and valleys. This journey is the very path through which she is learning to know Him more deeply and love Him more fiercely.

This journey is the very path through which she is learning to know Him more deeply and love Him more fiercely.

In the hardest moments, I cling to a simple prayer:

Lord, You love her more than I do. You are trustworthy. I trust You to work all things together for her good and fulfill Your purpose in her life (from Romans 8:28).

Even when I am at a loss for how to pray—when I am weary or disheartened—my Moms in Prayer friends pray with me and for me.

Through this journey, God is gently and faithfully teaching me:

• He is trustworthy.
• He is working even when I cannot see it.
• He renews strength and restores hope right in the middle of the storm.

If you are praying for your own child today—standing in the gap, longing for God to move—please lean in close: God is working in ways you cannot yet see.

And you don’t have to pray alone. Praying Scripture with other moms anchors me, steadies me, and strengthens my faith as a mother. Moms in Prayer is that community for me, and it can be for you too.

Pray with me

Lord, You promise to be our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. For the mom reading this, renew her strength, anchor her in Your promises, and remind her that she is never alone. Remind her that You are faithful and You are working in ways she cannot see. May You bless her and her loved ones, keep them, be gracious to them and give them Your peace. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Alexandra’s story

Ten years ago, my parents and I moved from Louisiana to Iowa for my dad’s job. I was thirteen at the time and really struggling since almost everything I had known, changed. I focused on how these changes negatively affected me, leading to mental health challenges.

Once in college, I struggled with mental health again and had to take several semesters off. I pursued what I thought was God’s plan for my life, yet I found little purpose in my work, had a hard time getting out of bed every day, and dreaded the future.

I pursued what I thought was God’s plan for my life, yet I found little purpose in my work, had a hard time getting out of bed every day, and dreaded the future.

Even through this difficult time, The Lord had already brought me to a place at a younger age, where I knew, not just with my mind, but also in my heart, that there is no greater reason to live than for His glory.

After returning home this past spring, a friend in my major suddenly passed away from a previously unrecognized medical condition. Three months later, my roommate’s boyfriend had an accident at work which led to his passing soon after. Both friends who passed loved the Lord, sought Him, and made the people around them feel both seen and loved. But they are no longer here. Though I don’t understand why, I do know this: God is still good.

Although I still encounter waves of grief, I have seen the active healing of the Lord in my mind and emotions! He has delivered me from the battles of my mind and renewed my hope and joy in Him. I see His hand over my life—the past, present, and future—and have found excitement in discovering what God has in store for my life.

In the midst of my circumstances, I’ve found hope, not in myself nor my ability to “pull myself up by my bootstraps,” but in God’s unchanging character. I know God is sovereign. I know He is both in control and active in His creation. I know we are held in His hands and that He has good plans for each of us that will glorify His name and draw us closer to Him.

In the midst of my circumstances, I’ve found hope, not in myself nor my ability to “pull myself up by my bootstraps,” but in God’s unchanging character.

David praises the Lord in Psalm 139, saying:

“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you, Lord, know it completely.

You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, ‘Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,’ even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book, before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you.”

I am beyond thankful to be a Moms in Prayer kid. Because my mom is in Moms in Prayer, there have been some lies from the devil that just don’t take root. For example, Satan has tried to tell me that I’m alone. But even when I felt isolated, created space between my friends and I, and lost people I love, I know there is an army of prayer warriors fighting on my behalf, consistently interceding for me. And I know there’s a God who both listens to and answers those prayers.

Because my mom is in Moms in Prayer, there have been some lies from the devil that just don’t take root.

I also know there is someone who will speak life into me and will use incredible discernment, because she is both engulfed in God’s Word and constantly surrendering to Him in prayer—that’s my Momma.

I’ve seen my mom stop conversations to bring our attention to the Father, so we can surrender our thoughts and concerns to Him, and I’ve heard quite often, “Have you prayed about it?” This question, this prompting, this example she has set, has given me confidence to approach the throne of grace even when I’ve felt ashamed, disqualified, or that my prayers were not as important as other “greater” needs.

I’ve also adopted a prayer model that shifts my focus from my unstable circumstances to God’s steady character:

Praising God first centers me on who He is—He is my Savior, He is my Shepherd, He is the Prince of Peace. Confessing reminds me of my need for God’s grace and the wonder of His love and sacrifice. Even though He knew every way I would intentionally sin against Him, He still chose me and calls me His own.

Thanksgiving exhibits how, despite my sin, God is working in my life; it reminds me that He has not abandoned me. Thanksgiving brings me to a place of remembrance of what God has already led me through, and reminds me that He is faithful to bring me through things to come.

After worshipping God and remembering who He is, I can confidently surrender my requests, my worries, and my heartbreak to Him, knowing that He will accomplish His will and that it is good.

Having a praying mom reassures me that I am not alone, and that, no matter my circumstances, the Lord is faithful.

When have you faced a situation with your child that you couldn’t “fix,” and how did it challenge your faith?

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Deborah Bryant is the Moms in Prayer Heartland Division Coordinator. Through Moms in Prayer, she continues to learn how to surrender her fears and worries, letting God replace them with His peace and comfort. Meeting weekly with her Moms in Prayer group remains one of the most meaningful and powerful things she does as a mom. Deborah and her husband live in Des Moines, Iowa and are blessed with a daughter, and a son and daughter-in-law, who also live nearby.

Alexandra Bryant, daughter of Deborah, is a senior at Northwestern College in Iowa. She loves spending time with family and friends, playing piano, trying new things, and talking about Jesus. She is excited to see where God leads her next.